In terms of our long term health, our tribe is the x-factor. Our tribe helps us find the highest level of who we can be, best version, ideal weight, ideal strength and having the energy that we have. Proximity is power and it is all about our associations. This is the 5 or 6 people you associate the most with your life. Maybe we need some new tribe members, but maybe you need to be a new member of the tribe.
What is your tribe? (03:25)
Your tribe is anyone that influences you. This includes people you talk with daily. It could be people you hang out with at work, the books you read, the podcasts you listen to. It’s important to define your tribe into different categories: health, wealth, and relationships. If you wanted to develop your wealth and develop abundance in your life, you want to take information and influence from those who have already done it or are currently doing it. You don’t want to get advice from someone who is currently broke. It is important that we do look at how much we are trying to keep up with trying to look good when things are not good.
How your tribe affects your Health (05:33)
For relationships, I like to look for advice from people who are married longer than me (I have been married for 18 years so I look for advice from people married for 20 30, or even 40 years). Relationships are an effort, and the challenge here is sometimes we look at relationships, and look at couples that make it look easy. Having a healthy relationship is an effort, you get out what you put in. Same thing goes with our health. There are times we think there are easy routes that we are looking for, and that is where our tribe can help us out.
We need to identify who in our tribe is going to be supporting the specific kind of thinking we need, and then we need to look at ourselves and need to ask “where am I in this tribe?” Am I someone who is supporting the other people around me, and am I helping them level up? At the end of the day it is important to understand: one of the human fundamental desires is to belong. You may never have identified it, but we are trying to identify it today. Let’s just figure out what tribe we want to be apart and then we can start to predict our results on the flip side.
Health is simple, but sometimes we get in the away.
Here is how it has to start (09:24)
What happens frequently but we should not do, is do not identify people in your life and start picking them off. You have to start with knowing that we want to be healthy. Being healthy incompases all these traits of health, wealth, and relationships. If we are unhealthy it is more difficult to be the best version of ourselves. How do we keep raising the bar, or leveling up? You should ask yourself, how much do you invest in your health? This includes time and money to level up and learn more to become that better version of yourself.
Sometimes your tribe may think this is excessive. You may try to set intense goals, and your tribe may ask why do you keep doing this? Your effort is important because this process is ongoing. It becomes easy once this is a ritual. In the beginning when this needs to become a habit our tribe may think it’s excessive. That can’t be your health tribe, and you need to identify that. Block that thinking out immediately and ask, what would a healthy person would say? So think if your tribe inhibits you from moving forward.
There is a ritual that you have with your tribe at home, and when you make changes to rituals, this is difficult because you don’t want to alter the relationship with your tribe. Perhaps try to replace or displace your rituals. If you got to a bar every Friday night, or have a dessert time, try going for a walk instead. We choose what to fill that void.
There is a choice here, and instead of telling partners to change, maybe ask questions to give your tribe the option. Give them options for you to do things that you can still do as friends instead of eating or drinking.
Who are you in your tribe? (23:46)
We need this accountability. Do you help others focus on leveling up? Do you encourage friends to be a better husband, wife, or family member? Or do you buy into the gossip? Do you buy into your tribe’s crap? We can’t let others in our tribe hold themselves to their limitations. We want to make sure that our tribe won’t let us hold onto our limitations. We can’t let someone say “I can’t do this, because I have x.” There are always more options here. If you keep raising the bar, then you can help others raise the bar. Part of being great leaders is seeing the greatness in others. Sometimes we are holding others back with limitations we put on them or they put on themselves.
What are the better questions do I need to ask myself? (28:51)
We need to change the fundamental terminology we use to talk about ourselves. Using phrases like “I am” or “I have” can reinforce negative thinking in your body. If you say “I am tired” your body will be more tired. Instead you can say, “My body is talking to me, and it sounds like I need some rest.” Therefore, the question you should never ask: “What’s wrong with me?” If you want to be healthier, we need to ask, “What does my body need right now?” If you ask this question, your tribe will be more likely to help you ask the right questions as well.